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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22647532">Dim Alleys and Wet Kisses.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/psyleedee/pseuds/psyleedee'>psyleedee</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>My Baby Shot Me Down. [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst and Feels, Bartender Castiel (Supernatural), Bruises, Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Emotional, Fluff, Forbidden Love, Forehead Touching, Gang Member Dean Winchester, Hugs, Kissing, Love, M/M, Men Crying, Non-Explicit Sex, Normal Life, Open to Interpretation, Protective Dean Winchester, Romance, Secret Relationship, True Love, Young Love, Young Sam Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 13:15:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,458</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22647532</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/psyleedee/pseuds/psyleedee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Some people love openly. Some hold their lover's hands, kiss them, touch them and don't care for the world. </p><p>Dean can't do that. He can't kiss or touch Castiel out in the open. So dim alleyways outside of the bar Castiel works in is all they have. </p><p>And they're going to make the most of their moment.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>My Baby Shot Me Down. [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2076831</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>128</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Dim Alleys and Wet Kisses.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I literally wrote this the night before my first final exam to calm my nerves.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Dean, you can't be here."</p><p>Castiel says, stealing a glance around, affirming no one will be able to see them like this.</p><p>"I know. I just, couldn't stop myself...</p><p>Dean says, voice soft and low. Castiel smiles at that, a tender smile, reserved for their deepest moments. Dean gazes at him, eyes filled with adoration. He can't tear them away, even when Castiel blushes, so warm and pink, and buries his face in Dean's shoulder.</p><p>The scent of Castiel's citrus shampoo tickles his nostrils, and Dean breathes in the comforting smell of <em>Cas</em>.</p><p>"You know, one day you're going to get us both in trouble, Winchester."<br/>
Castiel says, leaning up to meet Dean's eyes as he slides his hands around the other's shoulders.<br/>
There's an amorous tone lacing Castiel voice, and Dean simply meets his challenging eyes.</p><p>"Won't ever let anything trouble you, Cas. Except me, of course."<br/>
Dean quips, and Castiel laughs, pressing closer when Dean's hands wrap around his waist.</p><p>"I know you won't."</p><p>There's something about the conviction in Castiel's voice that does it for Dean. Something good. Something hopeful. Something a ruffian like Dean doesn't deserve.</p><p>"I know what you're thinking. I know that look. Stop it right now."<br/>
Castiel scolds, and Dean blinks at him.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"That look? I know what you're thinking. You think you don't deserve this. You think you can't have it. But you can Dean. You have it right now."</p><p>Dean sighs, his arms loosening against Castiel's body, only spurring Castiel on to tighten his hands around Dean.</p><p>"I wasn't-"</p><p>Soft lips press against his and Dean can't do anything but reciprocate. And so they mend together, losing each other in their arms, in their touch, in their breaths. It's all can Dean can comprehend.</p><p>And so they stand there, two boys, kissing, neglecting the world for a moment, in a dim lit alleyway, where it smells like beer and cigarettes, where the walls are most likely stained with blood and spit and rebellious graffiti. Where there seems to be no hope.</p><p>But now, for a moment, the alleyway has nothing but love to offer.</p><p>"I love you, you know that right?"<br/>
Castiel asks, when he pulls away.</p><p>"You shouldn't, Cas, you shouldn't love me."</p><p>"Too late."<br/>
Castiel grins, and cups Dean's face, fingers brushing over an old scar, the skin still healing, eyes roaming over the little knicks around his jaw, the fading bruise under his eye and the healing split lip.</p><p>"You should take care better of yourself, baby."</p><p>"Have you to do it for me."</p><p>"And you always will."</p><p>Dean studies his lover's face. What a shameful contrast to his. Castiel's face is beautiful. Blue eyes, innocent and lively, smooth, spotless skin, rosy cheeks, paired with soft, distinct dimples when he smiles.</p><p>God, Castiel is gorgeous. Especially when Dean gets to see him after days.</p><p>Being part of a gang, an underworld mob doesn't do much for the reputation, but it pays alright. It's enough to pay for Sam, and it's enough to buy Castiel little roses from time to time. Castiel doesn't earn much either, whatever he gets from the bar, but it's enough for him. They have what they need. No less, no more.</p><p>"You're going to be okay? Right? You'll come back to me?"</p><p>Castiel asks, and Dean drops his head down against Castiel's shoulder, pressing tight against him. He nods at his shoulder, and feels fingers card through his hair.</p><p>"Good. You better. You don't come home to me, Dean Winchester, I will find you and I will kick your ass so bad you forget who really works with the gang."<br/>
Castiel says, his voice wet and weak, but Dean snorts, and feels Castiel sniffle.</p><p>He pulls back in time to see Castiel wipe away a tear.</p><p>"Hey, baby, please don't cry. I'm gonna come back, okay? Don't worry. Just keep Sam safe. And even if something does happen to me-"</p><p>"Dean-"</p><p>"-No, listen, even if something does happen to me, you're going to be strong. That's what I want you to be. Strong and tough. You take care of Sam, you take care of yourself. You hear me?"</p><p>Castiel stares at him, biting down on his lips to hide their quivering, as his eyes water.</p><p>"Hmm."<br/>
He nods, and Dean presses him against his chest.</p><p>"Come on baby, we got a couple more minutes left and all you wanna do is cry? Thought you was going to kick my ass."<br/>
Dean jokes, and Castiel jabs him in the rib, eliciting a yelp from him.</p><p>"I will if you don't come home."<br/>
Castiel chuckles through his tears, and Dean cradles his face in his hands, pressing a brief kiss to his forehead.</p><p>"I promise I will. But I gotta go tonight. I don't know when I'll be back though, a couple a'months, hopefully. Alright?"</p><p>Castiel nods and looks away, wiping his tears on the back of his hand.</p><p>"Alright."</p><p>"Good, good, c'mere."<br/>
Dean hugs him again, because he knows, when things get bad, when blood is spilt and punches are thrown, and the guns are loaded up, when he's out there putting his life on line for some sissy in a golden car, it's the only thing that gets him through. The only thing that reminds him to stay alive. For Cas. For Sam. They're all that matter.</p><p>"Kay, I'm gonna head back to Crowley now. Listen, you know ground rules, right?"</p><p>"Yes, Dean, this isn't the first-"<br/>
Castiel starts, shaking his head with a hopeless smile.</p><p>"If something really bad goes down, you call me, no matter what you think. If you're in trouble, if Sam's in trouble, you call me. Okay? And you know where the stashed money is?"<br/>
Dean reminds, ignoring the number of times he's told Castiel this before.</p><p>Castiel nods again<br/>
"Mhmm. It's in Mary's grave. I know, I know. Only use it when... When you..."</p><p>"Say it. You gotta accept it someday, Castiel. You chose me. Deal with it."<br/>
Dean knows he's being too harsh, but this is what life is. It doesn't wait around for you to get your shit together. You gotta do it on your own. You gotta accept and learn.</p><p>Castiel sniffles, and replies.<br/>
"-if you don't come back home. If you die."</p><p>Dean knows it's taking everything inside Castiel to say it, so he strokes his back with a kiss to his cheek.<br/>
"That's right, baby. You keep that in mind, 'kay? I'm gonna go back now."</p><p>Dean says, breathing out softly, before untangling himself from Castiel. He pulls away, and Castiel stands there, frozen like a sculpture.</p><p>Dean lets go of Castiel's hands, only for Castiel to tug at them, a dejected, pleading look in his eyes.<br/>
"Five more minutes? Please?"<br/>
He asks, a tear rolling down his cheek. His lips quiver and he presses Dean's palms to his chest.</p><p>God, how can Dean even deny him?</p><p>"Cas... Jesus, of course, baby."<br/>
Dean sighs, wrapping Castiel in a tight, crushing hug, and the moment Dean's body presses against Castiel's, the boy is crying. He's grabbing at Dean, shoving his face in his shoulder, and he's sobbing.</p><p>Dean doesn't blame him though. They've been through worse. Worst being the time they spent apart for a whole year, where Dean had been shot, twice in the leg, once in his arm, and by some miracle, survived. Castiel has raised Sam then, for a whole year, like a brother would. Like Dean would.</p><p>Sam wasn't blind to their relationship. He knew his brother was unusual. That he loved a man, instead of a woman, but it never fazed him. After all, you love with your heart, and not your mind, is what Sam had said to him one night.</p><p>When Dean had returned, he'd made sweet, passionate love to Castiel. The kind that makes your body tremble and your hands squeeze the sheets until your knuckles go white, the kind that says a million <em>I love </em><em>you's</em> and a million <em>I'll never leave's</em> in a single night. Castiel had cried. Dean had cried. Tears were spilt, so were words. Of courage, of love, of comfort, of assurance. Dean had found his home that night, at last, after years of searching, right in Castiel's arms.</p><p>It ached Dean when he separated from Castiel. It made him homesick.</p><p>As they hold each other now, the murky stench of the alleyway doing nothing to hinder their moment, a star shines above them. Of hope. Of love. Who knows?</p><p>All they know, is that this is their life. But they don't ask for more. They never think to. For they had, and still have, what even the richest and the mightiest lack.</p><p>Love.</p><p>Unadulterated, unconditional, unbending love.</p>
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